I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
