What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
