Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
