Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
