Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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