I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
