Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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