I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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