someone get that fucking seahorse.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
