I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She told me I should be a condom model.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
