yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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