i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
