She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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