so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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