five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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