she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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