My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
