Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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