Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
then he tried to convert me to islam
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You ate ashes out of my bong
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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