Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
