im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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