It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
