Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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