Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
