Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
