Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
