Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
