He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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