Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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