Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
