Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
