drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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