I love black thongs
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My feet surprised me
Randomize
