youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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