And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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