Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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