So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
