1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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