Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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