I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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