How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she told me i tasted like america
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
