i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
