Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
