His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
