What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I enjoy the company of your penis
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
