Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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