white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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