dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
