Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
