she was so not down for the gang bang
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
