I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
