My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
