i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
